Beware of Bored Fanfiction Authoresses!!!
by FireTiger
Summary: There was not genre for seriously screwed up 'cause I was writing this when I was bored so I put it under humor. I don't even know if it's funny... Just r/r please.


Beware of Bored Fanfiction Authoresses!!!  
  
At first I wasn't gonna post this 'cause it's so incredably stupid but I decided other wise. Just keep in mind that I was bored. I had no idea what I was gonna write or how it would turn out. Hope you enjoy! Please r/r.  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing, I never have and I never will! *pout*  
  
***  
  
Duo blinked twice. "What are you trying to say?"  
  
Dorothy sighed. "I'm trying to say..." she trailed off again, unable to find the right words.  
  
Duo taped his finger against his leg as he waited. "Well?"  
  
Dorothy shook her head. "Nevermind." Then she turned away and left, not looking back.  
  
Duo blinked again. "That was weird," he said to no one. He shrugged and closed the front door.  
  
"Who was it?" asked Quatre's voice from behind.  
  
"Dorothy again. Your girlfriend's been acting really weird lately."  
  
Quatre glared at Duo. "She is NOT my girlfriend!"  
  
Duo put on a sly smile. "I see the way she looks at you."  
  
"Well you can just forget it. She's not something I want to discuss right now."  
  
"Fine." Duo sighed. "I just wanna know why she always acts so different now."  
  
"Just forget about it! She should be the least important thing in your life right now."  
  
"You're right," he acknowledged. "Hey, you wanna get some ice cream?!" he exclaimed, changing his tone.  
  
"Okay!" Quatre agreed excitedly.  
  
The 2 left for the ice cream parlor in one of Quatre's cars and once they got there noticed a certain blonde girl sitting in the same place they desired to go to.  
  
"Uh, Duo?" Quatre asked. "You wanna go somewhere else?"  
  
"That would be a good idea..." was all that was replied.  
  
But they had no such luck. Dorothy noticed the 2 before they left and decided to catch up with them.  
  
"Duo!" she cried. "Quatre! Wait for me!"  
  
Being such nice guys and all, they turned to face her. "Hi Dorothy," they said simultaneously.  
  
"Where are you guys heading?" she asked.  
  
"Uh, we were just gonna get some ice cream, right Duo?"  
  
"Oh yeah, Quatre. But since you already had some, I guess you don't have to come."  
  
"Oh that's okay," she told them. "I wouldn't mind eating some more."  
  
"Damn," Duo muttered under his breath.  
  
So the 3 of them went into the ice cream parlor and ordered ice cream then they ate it and it was yummy.  
  
After hurriedly eating their ice creams, pilot 02 and 04 ran to the car and drove off, leaving poor Miss Catalonia all by herself.  
  
Dorothy sighed. "Why does he always run away...? All I want to do is be with him."  
  
As soon as the car was parked Quatre and Duo burst into the house.  
  
"I'm so glad that's over!" Quatre managed to say between gasps for air.  
  
"Me too. Let's hope that never happens again," Duo choked out.  
  
Later that night when Quatre was all snuggled nicely into bed he heard someone knock on his door. With a sigh he found the strength to get out of bed and answer the door.  
  
A trembling Duo stood in the doorway clutching his chest.  
  
"Oh my God! Duo are you okay?!" Quatre asked as he helped Duo onto the nearest chair.  
  
"It... was... her... again.."" he said with a shaky voice.  
  
Someone else knocked on the door.  
  
Quatre went to get the door.  
  
"Don't!" Duo shouted in a hoarse voice.  
  
But despite Duo's warning Quatre opened the door to a blonde girl in a tight leather outfit.  
  
"AAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!" Quatre screamed as he shielded his eyes.  
  
Dorothy slinked into the room. "Hello my lovely," she said.  
  
"I am NOT your lovely!" Quatre shouted, still protecting his vision.  
  
"Not you!" she snapped. "I was talking to my braided beauty here." She placed her hand on Duo's wavering shoulder.  
  
Duo began to breath harder as he clutched his chest.  
  
Dorothy gently scratched under Duo's chin. "You silly. You actually thought you could get away from me?"  
  
Duo let out one last breath before he feel out of the chair and motionless onto the floor.  
  
"You killed Duo!" Quatre shouted.  
  
And from far off in the distance Heero could be heard shouting, "You bastard!"  
  
Quatre quickly dialed Sally's number and told her about Duo and within seconds, Sally was at Duo's side.  
  
"It looks like he had a heart attack," she told the 2 blondes.  
  
Quatre objected. "But he's only 15! He can't have a heart attack!"  
  
Sally smirked. "This is the doing of an insanely tired and bored fanfiction authoress, anything can happen."   
  
"But this is cruel! What kind of a psycho would do something like this?!"  
  
Silence.  
  
Quatre cleared his throat. "I said, 'What kind of a psycho would do something like this'?!"  
  
Still silence.  
  
"Hey authoress! I think that's your cue!" Dorothy shouted.  
  
"Oh!" a booming voice exclaimed. "Sorry!"  
  
"Baka..." Dorothy muttered.  
  
"Hey! I heard that!"  
  
"Well you are pretty slow..." Sally said.  
  
"I'm not denying the statement I'm just saying I heard what she said."  
  
"Ah."  
  
"Now where were we? Oh yes!" Clears her throat. "That's right! I AM a psycho!"  
  
"That's the line?" Quatre asked as he sweatdropped.  
  
"What? You expected the baka to say something clever?"  
  
Quatre sighed. "Authoresses..."  
  
Dorothy whimpered. "What about my poor sweetheart!"  
  
The booming voice sighed. "He's not your sweetheart..."  
  
"But why not?!" she wined.  
  
"'Cause Duo is cool and you're just a big fat pain in my chicken's lips."  
  
"Um, chicken's don't have lips," Quatre stated kindly.  
  
"EXACTLY!!!! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!!!"  
  
The others put on worried expressions.  
  
"Now let's unkill Duo!"  
  
"If you didn't want him to die than why'd you do all this?" Quatre asked.  
  
"Stupid boredom did this to me. Parents, see what happens when you don't give you kids enough things to do?"  
  
Another booming voice cuts in, "Oh you want something to do, huh?! How about you wash the dishes, sweep the floor, do the laundry, mow the lawn...?"  
  
"Okay! Forget what I just said! Parents just don't get it..."  
  
Quatre began to get impatient. "Ahem! Can we fix Duo now?!"  
  
"Okay okay! Don't get a rash over it!" The booming voice clears her throat again. "Magic socks and lizard splits! Styrofoam apples and chicken lips! Undo the death that I have caused and make Dorothy have extra cods!"  
  
"Dorothy have what?!" Dorothy yelled as 50 million cod fish were dumped on her.  
  
Duo stirred and sat up. "Where am I?"  
  
The booming voice snickered.  
  
"What was that?!"  
  
"Duo," boomed the booming voice. "These are the voices in your head! We want you to burn things!"  
  
Duo stood up. "Will do, chief!" He began to walk away.  
  
Quatre shouted after him. "Where are you going?!"  
  
"Oh, just to get a blow torch."  
  
Quatre ran after him yelling wait, Duo!"  
  
"I'm not done with you!" said the booming voice. A giant hand reached down and grabbed Quatre. "I still wanna play around with you. How does staring in a romance fic sound?"  
  
"What are you talking about?!"  
  
"I already know who you'll be paired up with. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!!!"  
  
"Gulp."  
  
~OWARI  
  
  
First off, if you enjoyed that you must be just as messed up as me. Second, you know this started off as a romance fic but somehow got mutated into this... thing.... Oh well. Please review.  



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